Anxiety, The highlight of my day,
The reason why I get 4 hours a sleep But there isn't anything important anyway Eyes wandering, hands fidgeting Cant decide whether or not to panic now or later Cant go a full day without it telling me to stop, wait, You forgot to worry So im up till dawn thinking about things that dont even matter But finding ways it could effect my future Constantly telling myself you're gonna fail if you dont put yourself together But its not that easy Once you have accepted anxiety its like gum on the bottom of your shoe It is disgusting and you want it off but no matter how hard you try it doesnt seem to go away Anxiety is the feeling of not knowing anything and debating whether or not you want to know the answer Your not good enough Try harder Even at your highest points you worry that people are disappointed Constantly being sad and worried but having to put on a happy face so that no one will see your true weakness Anxiety. |
People ask all of the time, are you ok? Well everyday I wake up to find myself in the same broken world I left when I shut my eyes.
Entering a whirlpool of lies while I sit there and cry A disaster waiting to happen, watching friends drag down friends, hoping that mine wont to the same. But who are we to blame? Why do we do this to each other? Arent we supposed to be allies? A constant battle fighting for something that doesnt even exist, perfection. Instead of trying to make a connection, we just sit there and judge without even having a conversation. What looks like a safe environment is actually a war zone. Not only am I fighting with other people im fighting with myself, alone. A constant struggle to keep happiness glued to my face while sadness tries to rip it off without leaving a trace. Trying not to let go because I know that I will make a scene so instead of letting it out it stays inside and I watch it grow. Always asking why or what if? Why cant I just live in the moment without questioning everything that comes my way? Why am I so sad? Why do my friends like hurting my other friends? Why is there always a competition between each other? Why do I have to lose so many people? Why cant life go the way I want for once? So to answer your question no, I am not ok. |